The Next Terrorist Threat: Canada Geese

Evil GeeseBut for some fancy flying by Captain Chester “Sully” Sullenberger and his co-pilot Jeffrey Skiles, a menacing flock of geese would have managed to pull of the same feat that Osama Bin Laden’s gang of thugs took pains to plan and execute.  La Guardia Airport is as close to Manhattan as an airport can get.  It wouldn’t have taken much for that plane to kill many people.  The geese almost got their way.

Now it has been shown that geese can wreak havoc on our infrastructure, especially those Canada geese that crap all over the east coast.  Probably the Canadians planned it that way.  Blame Canada, too.  Next we should probably invest in goose protection technologies.  I’m sure DARPA is already on it.  Harboring geese?  Better beware.  I’m sure you’re being watched already.  How do you think Bin Laden managed to get them positioned?  Did he pay them off?  Did he seed their trail right through Queens?  Let us flock to investigate and excoriate the guilty.

In the meantime, as we evict the 43rd president from the White House, a man who defined his administration by the war on terror, who led from a place of fear, and who capitalized on the fears of others, let us shut the door on this sorry chapter of our history by endeavoring to Goose Poopremember the miseries we have to go through at airports, the violations of our privacy that were made in our names, the destruction of our international reputation through the reckless disregard for human rights and international law, and now goose poop, which perhaps is best cleaned up with the editorial pages of the Wall Street Journal, as they have no better use.

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